Be Here Now

I'm not a fan of winter. There, I said it. My body feels weird, there's no sun, and my mood gets all funky. For those of you who have heard of Ayurveda, it's vata season and I tend to be vata dominant, so vata plus vata means vata overload. This can manifest as trouble sleeping, racing thoughts, anxiousness, fast speech, decreased immunity, and overall exhaustion. Sound familiar? Oh yea, I forgot to mention. Not only is it vata season and I tend towards vata, but I live in New York City, Vata Capital of the world. I say this because New York's all about movement, creation, and speed. It's an energy and it's powerful. All of these things contribute to an imbalance.

I could add to this with anger and resistance to the winter, I could get frustrated and complain about New York, and I do both of these things sometimes, but I recognize it is unproductive and I create my own suffering. You might be thinking, "Create your own suffering? How could that be? Why would you ever do that?" But we do it all the time, not consciously. It is an unconscious programming and it takes a deep awareness to recognize these patterns of thinking and of behavior.

So instead of making my experience MORE challenging than it already is, I have decided to work with what I have and find the things that I enjoy about this time (it's a daily practice and is not easy). Hibernating, getting comfy under my sheets, warm, snuggly sweaters and socks, drinking tea all day and encouraging others to do the same. Most importantly, during this time, I find the need to Slow Down. Because it's windy and cold I want to speed up, and I do. But what's the rush? What's the hurry, nothing is going anywhere. Slow Down and Be Kind to Myself. Give Myself What I Need.

What I may want at this time is the sun, good weather, to be outside and feel the grass, smell the flowers, but that is not where I am right now. The reality is that I am living in New York City and it is winter. It is SO cold. The earth is frozen, the leaves are gone, and the sky is clouded over. This is my reality at the moment. I am here. Let me pile on the sweaters, layer leggings under jeans, and just let the tip of my nose and eyes out to face the wind. Let me be thankful for the warmth of the spaces that I arrive to, my warm bed, my (somewhat) warm apartment, and the heart-warming time spent with friends. I am here and this is what there is, let me make the best of it.

Also because who knows how long I will be here, as the saying goes, "If you don't like where you are, move. You are not a tree." Who knows how long I will get to enjoy the warm snuggly comforter, colorful scarves, and time spent inside hibernating. Before I know it, I will be dripping sweat from the humidity and scorching sun. Then I will miss these days.

It's not only about the seasons of weather but the seasons of life. If I keep thinking about that thing that I did or enjoyed, I won't be able to enjoy what I am doing Right Now. My friend Ana gave me an awesome metaphor last night, using the curb as the separation of space and time. She straddled the curb and said, "Lauren, you have to decide, you are either here (she hops to one side of the curb), or here (she hops to the other side), but you can't be in both. Imagine if you tried walking to the train like this (as she straddles the curb), your legs would hurt, everything would hurt and you would take so long. If you try to be in both places, you are in Neither." And so, she reminded me of the importance of being. Being here now. Enjoying this moment, this life, how I am right now, and being authentically In It. It is no easy feat to arrive at this point and I've faced so much already. To be here now is a miracle, let me accept it fully for all of its beauty and all of its messiness. Let me enjoy these moments, because before I know it, it will be spring.

#beherenow #thisisit #justbe #patience #gratitude #winterishere #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening