Transitions freak me out. I am not sure what the transition is or where it is presenting. If it's just in my personal life, my professional life, the collective life, probably all of it. I actually saw in a documentary last week that we are transitioning between ages, from the age of Pisces ( 0 A.D. to present) into the age of Aquarius in 2150. Talking century long transition coming to an end. That's a big one! Oh also, not that you didn't know, but we are inaugurating a new president in a couple of days. I'd like to think that I've settled into that idea, but yeaaaa not so much. It's still a bit Hunger Games-ish for me. So I feel this collective surge of dis-ease at the moment. And then in my personal life there are transitions, apartment, people, relationships, and professionally, a changing of roles, new projects, a change in the space and energy. There is A LOT of movement. While I know in the big picture that this is all happening exactly as it should, and I, as a player in each of these aspects, have been instrumental in the transitions that are happening (whether I notice or take credit at all), it still is not easy for me.
During these times of change I feel a pull to withdraw, to go away, to shrink back and say, "Well, this just isn't my thing, yea... I'm not so sure about that. Can't I just hang out over here and let things just go along? I'm not really all THAT important in this shift, am I?" Seriously. I start getting impatient with it all, thinking, "This is just not the way things are supposed to be. It should just align with my vision for the future, NOW. Either align with my vision now or this just isn't working. Why is it not aligning? Why is it not working? This just doesn't feel right." That's what my mind is doing. And during these times I get tons of reminders to Wake Up and see that this is all happening exactly as it should. That I am traveling this road for a reason, and the lesson is to Wake Up to that. That this road I travel is IT. This road I travel is the same as every other road I've traveled and will travel. That to make the most of this moment, right here and now is what I am here to do.
Reminders over the past few days have been big: We are redesigning the entry space at the studio and were looking for benches and other furniture to fill the space. I had a vision in mind as did the owner and the woman who helps with interior design of the space. I envisioned handmade wood benches, sturdy, heavy-duty, withstanding weight and years and wear and tear. We went ahead and looked online. We ended up ordering some pieces and are awaiting their delivery (until then, it seems we have just moved into an unfurnished apartment :P) So I'm explaining the vision to students as they come into and out of classes and this guy says, "Do you need a bench-maker?" And I thought to myself, what an interesting question. Is there even such thing as a bench-maker? Is that a real job-title? He must know someone if he asked, right? "... Do you know one?" I replied. "Yea, me." And I stared and smiled and kind of jumped, "You're a bench-maker?! You mean it's you?! You've been here all along!" And there it was, right in front of me, the dude who could make our benches. Though he won't because we already ordered them, so I'm feeling to ask about some other pieces for the studio. Point of story being, when you ask, when you share, when you open up and let out all that you desire, when you dare to dream, dare to imagine, create a vision in your mind, all of the universe works to bring it to you.
Another, I was at a gathering the other night with a friend from the studio and many of her long-time and recent friends. I felt like I was entering the party scene from the movie Neruda, let me paint it for you: The energy was that of poets, writers, musicians, progressives, alternative lifestyle, free-spirits, authentic people, an underground scene, open, loving, inviting, full of love and perhaps, illegal activities. Wine was flowing, food was abundant, and conversation jumped across the table from person to person, music in the background, the host running into and out of the kitchen, old friends and new merging into family. It was wonderful. So as the night was winding down, I was talking to my university professor (who happens to live across the hall from this woman I befriended at the studio! #nocoincidences) and the host, telling them of all the apartment issues I've been having and all the changes that are coming about. The host ends up sharing a story of a tenant that she has and I think, "What tenant and where?"
Side note: For two plus years now I have envisioned an apartment, studio or one bedroom, lots of light, quiet place, comfy, lived-in, natural materials, positive energy vibe, less than $1000 in Inwood or Washington Heights... originally Inwood. I fell in love with Inwood because of its parks and a yoga studio that I really enjoyed. It is a quiet section of Manhattan and it has a really great energy, also has the last natural forest on Manhattan (fun fact!). So I envisioned this apartment about two years ago and I wrote it down in my notebook and it's been in my mind all this time. Anywho, back to the party.
So I ask her about this, "You have another apartment?" "Yea, I rent it out." "... Where is it?" "A studio in Inwood," she replied with a questioning look on her face. I felt the excitement building in me, it couldn't be that she has this apartment I've envisioned. No. Really? Could it be? "... and how much is it?" "$900 a month". I kind of expected this, though shocked at what I heard, "You have my apartment! That's the apartment I've been looking for!" She did, she had it all along, just like there was a bench-maker right in front of me. All I had to do was find that connection, or let it find me, just when it was supposed to. So turns out she had just agreed to rent it out to another guy, though not sure if it will work out or not. The plus side is (as there is always one) that now she knows about me and what I'm looking for, now whenever she needs someone, she knows that I have sent out that message, just like the bench-maker friend knows that we're looking for some carpentry work.
So for whatever reason these things happen and I am witness to them and an integral part of them coming to life. I am not just some random thing that can be removed and not felt in absence, I am critical to the fabric of these connections at this time and place. When I start to feel that I could just duck away, step out and no one would notice, I receive reminders like this: Open Your Eyes, You Are Enough, You Have Enough, It's All Here, You Are In Just The Right Place at Just the Right Time, Trust the Process, You are Everything that You Need, Be Grateful, Be Thankful, Love Every Piece of It.
A friend gave me a mantra today, "I Am Enough, I Have Enough, Everything that I Need is Coming to Me." And that's that, strengthening myself and knowing that the transition is just that, a transition, and I'm along for the beautiful, magic-filled, synchronistic ride.
#ridethewave #thisisit #youareit #trusttheprocess #transitions #synchronicity #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening
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