I'm in Spain! Wow, what a trip. Really. It seems surreal to be honest. I've been thinking about returning and hoping to return for so long, and I amfinally here. This is it. It's really happened, it's happening, it is.
These first few days I've just been adjusting; sleeping a lot, eating, and getting my yoga practice in. While I'm leaving in a few days for the Camino and still have things to prepare, I've wanted to take the time to center myself before I head out. This, for me, involves yoga, meditation, chanting, being in nature, and resting (though several years in New York has made this challenging for me) amongst other things. Everytime I come back to Spain, I find myself paying even more attention to these aspects of my self care. Is it because I'm now on "vacation" or away from what was seemingly my routine? I think that may have something to do with it, but really, it seems, when I'm here I think, well, I'm already different so what does it matter if I just do whatever I want? While in the States I always seem to feel this pressure (though I know it is self imposed) or keeping up, of going along with, of what I'm "supposed" to be doing, wearing, saying, etc etc etc. When traveling, when away from it all, it seems you are liberated, all the expectations and norms released, you are faced with nothing more than yourself and all that you are. That's what always calls me to return to the road. Coming back to myself.
As I wandered around this neighborhood of Madrid today and yesterday, I found myself noticing yoga centers, wellness centers, natural food stores, and actually, this was the first thing I searched for on google upon arriving. Where can I practice? Where are these people? What's going on here? And it seems it is everywhere. It's all around. Vegetarian/vegan food, not so much... yet. This may be one of the bigger challenges of this trip, pero bueno I'll make do with what there is.
The days have been me wandering, finding cool places, good food, practicing yoga, and allowing myself to be guided along the way. So far it's been great, feel that wandering spirit, the adventure, the "no pasa nada" slowly but surely returning though in a different, more confident and controlled sort of way. We shall see. A few more days in Madrid before I'm off to walk the Camino! Hasta Pronto mi gente!
Un abrazo muy fuerte desde Madrid,
Lauren
Tuesday, October 3, 2017
Tuesday, September 19, 2017
Hello Stranger
I'm back! So it has definitely been a while and I haven't been super good about writing even in my journal. I've been traveling a lot the past week, spending several days in Jersey with the family and then the past few days in Cincinnati celebrating a friend's wedding. It's been great connecting with everyone, spending time but really feeling the need to get back to preparation. Oh yea, haven't even written about this here yet... or have I? I'm about to head to Spain to walk the Camino de Santiago! 500 miles across Spain and then likely heading down to Portugal. I leave on the 30th of September and will be starting the walk during that first week in October. Not only am I going to walk the Camino, but I have actually bought a one-way ticket across the pond, will be taking my time and seeing what presents. It's big. And I'm pretty terrified.
That's where I've found myself the past week actually, lots of fear has been presenting. How is this going to happen? What am I doing? What if this and what if that? I mean, I guess it's normal to have these feelings especially during a big transition, and I keep reminding myself that this is what I have wanted for a while and as soon as I made the decision to make this move, many things started to come into alignment to make it happen. Also, I have to realize what a leap I have taken; I haven't been working since the end of August (when I left my job as studio manager) and have basically been trying to create my own schedule for preparations (work... but for myself!) which has proven quite challenging as time management and planning are not my super strong points, as well as tying up my life here in New York. Lots of change, big stuff. And I often ask myself why I need to do things like this? Can't I just stay and be okay with this instead of moving again and again? Why can't I just be happy with where I am? Then I remember, I'm not supposed to be. That's not why I'm here. If I had been or was satisfied with what I was doing I would stay. I believe and put my faith in the knowing that I am on my way. I am learning and growing and all of this is for the best for me and for everyone, because ultimately this journey, this story, this life is to share and inspire and to be an example.
I have to remember to be kind with myself, to be patient, to move slowly and with care. To encourage and support myself through whatever this journey brings. To come back to the tools I have learned for my own balancing and grounding. I am grateful, too, for the friends new and old that continue to guide me and steer me back when I get off track. Self guidance is ultimately the goal, but the truth is we all need our guides, our mentors, our partners, our tribe. They guide us, remind us, and bring us back to ourselves. That has definitely been one of the most challenging things since leaving my role as manager of the studio, finding the time to connect with like-minded people. I was fortunate to have worked in a place where many of the students and practitioners were my friends. We shared stories, insights, concerns, and were a support for one another. The difference now is that I need to plan to see those people I want to see, organize gatherings, bring those energies into my life purposefully. It's definitely different!
So off I go again. Planning to get the writing back up regularly. It is helpful for me to process all that is going on during this time of transition, and it's a great way to keep you all updated with what's happening.
Some highlights of the past week:
Lake Hopatcong trip with old friends
Paul McCartney live in NJ
Krishna Das concert in NYC
Friend's wedding in Cincinnati
Reunion with Spanish friends
Exploring Cincinnati - making new friends all over the place!
Crystal magic & oracle card sharing with friends
phew... busy busy busy
Life is beautiful. Hasta pronto familia.
Much love,
Lauren
That's where I've found myself the past week actually, lots of fear has been presenting. How is this going to happen? What am I doing? What if this and what if that? I mean, I guess it's normal to have these feelings especially during a big transition, and I keep reminding myself that this is what I have wanted for a while and as soon as I made the decision to make this move, many things started to come into alignment to make it happen. Also, I have to realize what a leap I have taken; I haven't been working since the end of August (when I left my job as studio manager) and have basically been trying to create my own schedule for preparations (work... but for myself!) which has proven quite challenging as time management and planning are not my super strong points, as well as tying up my life here in New York. Lots of change, big stuff. And I often ask myself why I need to do things like this? Can't I just stay and be okay with this instead of moving again and again? Why can't I just be happy with where I am? Then I remember, I'm not supposed to be. That's not why I'm here. If I had been or was satisfied with what I was doing I would stay. I believe and put my faith in the knowing that I am on my way. I am learning and growing and all of this is for the best for me and for everyone, because ultimately this journey, this story, this life is to share and inspire and to be an example.
I have to remember to be kind with myself, to be patient, to move slowly and with care. To encourage and support myself through whatever this journey brings. To come back to the tools I have learned for my own balancing and grounding. I am grateful, too, for the friends new and old that continue to guide me and steer me back when I get off track. Self guidance is ultimately the goal, but the truth is we all need our guides, our mentors, our partners, our tribe. They guide us, remind us, and bring us back to ourselves. That has definitely been one of the most challenging things since leaving my role as manager of the studio, finding the time to connect with like-minded people. I was fortunate to have worked in a place where many of the students and practitioners were my friends. We shared stories, insights, concerns, and were a support for one another. The difference now is that I need to plan to see those people I want to see, organize gatherings, bring those energies into my life purposefully. It's definitely different!
So off I go again. Planning to get the writing back up regularly. It is helpful for me to process all that is going on during this time of transition, and it's a great way to keep you all updated with what's happening.
Some highlights of the past week:
Lake Hopatcong trip with old friends
Paul McCartney live in NJ
Krishna Das concert in NYC
Friend's wedding in Cincinnati
Reunion with Spanish friends
Exploring Cincinnati - making new friends all over the place!
Crystal magic & oracle card sharing with friends
phew... busy busy busy
Life is beautiful. Hasta pronto familia.
Much love,
Lauren
Monday, July 24, 2017
Not All Who Wander Are Lost
I planned to go grocery shopping after an appointment on the upper west side this afternoon. A regular, normal night. No adventure, no chance meetings, just ordinary shopping, check out, home. Then I realized I was close to the river, so decided to check it out instead. Food can wait. There are things to be explored. Sat amongst the trees and eventually headed to the pier; walking out above the water to see the sun, the clouds. I begin to snap fotos, naturally. About to put my phone in my pocket and a honey bee lands on the corner of my purple phone case. Ah! A bee! My initial reaction: fear. I want to shake my phone, get it off and away. After all, it could sting me and what was it doing here anyway? I stopped, paused, looked at the bee. Shifted, diluted, transmuted. Love. I wondered, where did you come from? Where are you trying to go? How were you by the water? Are you all right? Where is your family? Why did you come to me? You must be confused, and what about all the radiation from the phone? My heart began to swell, "Bring him back to the flowers".
I walked slowly, carefully, eyes on the bee. Was he okay? I notice, he's cleaning himself. A good sign, he feels safe. I make my way off the pier and towards the trees. I ask myself where I'm going. I don't know but I follow the green. There will be flowers somewhere, I'm sure. Stepping carefully, purposefully. "Bring the bee home."
I see the trees, a willow, some other ones I cannot identify. No, that's not it. He needs flowers. I keep walking. Somewhere, somewhere. The cafe. Ah! Yes! Brightly colored flowers, I choose a nice, bright yellow one. I bring my phone towards the flowers and he flies away. I give thanks and continue.
I wander back to the street to the cars, the buildings. Okay, now it's time to focus. But wait, I look up, World Yoga Center. I read the signs, check the schedule, get some information. I give thanks that yoga finds me. I continue, a few steps, I look up again, Floating Mountain: Tea House & Gallery. This sounds nice.
I see plants, white walls, a tea kettle, and a modern wooden bookshelf. Zen. I feel it. Let me see. I walk towards the door. Ashtanga Yoga Upper West Side. I laugh to myself. I walk up to the second floor. I say hello, we smile. Wood, bamboo, floor pillows, clean, clear energy. "This is a tea house." I don't know what this means but I remove my shoes, leave my bag, and slowly look around and choose a seat. The corner with a view of the street, by the window. A tall, slender woman comes over and kneels beside me on the cushion. She explains. I ask, she tells me about the different experiences of the teas, all hand picked from China. Familiar. I choose. She guides me, prepares, I drink. We talk. We share. A new friend. Confirmation, inspiration. My first tea ceremony. #connect #shareyourstory #youaremeiamyou #tea #zen #be #getoutside #urbanexplorer #followyourbliss #wallsintodoors #trustthepath #lovelovelove #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening
Sunday, June 11, 2017
Who Are You? Part II
April 10th? You can't be serious? Well to be honest, it seems even longer than that. I have definitely been on a writing hiatus, though always doing my pen and paper work. Lists, to dos, schedules, appointment, thoughts, hopes, dreams. All that good stuff.
So where do I find myself now, the eleventh day of June? Past the big full Moon and the turning of the season (is it for real this time?)? In transition. Big one. Not certain where exactly I'm headed or what exactly is coming but I am getting quiet and observing, allowing all that is meant for me to emerge. I know this sound kinda loopy, but for anyone who has met me over the past several years and seen and heard all of the wild, funky, fucked up stuff that's gone on, this is the shift away from that. This is where I'm realizing that what is meant for me is supposed to feel good, comfortable, and supported. What drains my energy, rattles my foundation, or does not respect my time, energy, or heart, is not necessary to keep around. I'm shifting and I feel it, I feel it on an even larger scale, too. And I see it's effects all around me.
As I work to cleanse my diet, my body, my mind, my room, my home, my work, my relationships, everything begins to shift. The movement brings me more into alignment, brings my surroundings more into alignment with who I am, what I want, and who I am meant to be. As I remove my own personal agenda from the equation (I think I should do this, this seems right, well the logical next step is, well this would be exciting and fun for now), I am creating space for my heart's work. Sometimes the scariest, wildest, boldest thing we can do is listen to what is in our hearts.
What is it that I truly desire? Who do I want to be? What do I want to create? Where do I see myself? NOT what has been told to me, shown to me, not what anyone else has ever done before. Just me. My story. This moment. All of it. What is my unique story, the song only I can sing? Others help to guide you, help you to remember who you are; your talents, your gifts, your love. But.... when you know this for yourself, know yourself, appreciate yourself, believe in all that you are and all that you do, this is the power of life. I'm on this journey, as are you. Let us silence the noise, the chatter, the news, and let us get quiet and listen. Who are you?
#comeback #returnofthejedi #iammoana #knowthyself #itsallhappening #youaremeiamyou
So where do I find myself now, the eleventh day of June? Past the big full Moon and the turning of the season (is it for real this time?)? In transition. Big one. Not certain where exactly I'm headed or what exactly is coming but I am getting quiet and observing, allowing all that is meant for me to emerge. I know this sound kinda loopy, but for anyone who has met me over the past several years and seen and heard all of the wild, funky, fucked up stuff that's gone on, this is the shift away from that. This is where I'm realizing that what is meant for me is supposed to feel good, comfortable, and supported. What drains my energy, rattles my foundation, or does not respect my time, energy, or heart, is not necessary to keep around. I'm shifting and I feel it, I feel it on an even larger scale, too. And I see it's effects all around me.
As I work to cleanse my diet, my body, my mind, my room, my home, my work, my relationships, everything begins to shift. The movement brings me more into alignment, brings my surroundings more into alignment with who I am, what I want, and who I am meant to be. As I remove my own personal agenda from the equation (I think I should do this, this seems right, well the logical next step is, well this would be exciting and fun for now), I am creating space for my heart's work. Sometimes the scariest, wildest, boldest thing we can do is listen to what is in our hearts.
What is it that I truly desire? Who do I want to be? What do I want to create? Where do I see myself? NOT what has been told to me, shown to me, not what anyone else has ever done before. Just me. My story. This moment. All of it. What is my unique story, the song only I can sing? Others help to guide you, help you to remember who you are; your talents, your gifts, your love. But.... when you know this for yourself, know yourself, appreciate yourself, believe in all that you are and all that you do, this is the power of life. I'm on this journey, as are you. Let us silence the noise, the chatter, the news, and let us get quiet and listen. Who are you?
#comeback #returnofthejedi #iammoana #knowthyself #itsallhappening #youaremeiamyou
Monday, April 10, 2017
Who Are You?
When I want to remember something I either write it down or send it to myself via email or text message. Last night I sent myself something and I scrolled through just now. Turns out one year ago TODAY, I wrote this:
April 10th, 2016
I am a teacher, traveler, writer, foodie, nature-lover living in New York City. My love of exploration and ceaseless curiosity have led me to incredible people and places. This blog will serve as a reminder that these experiences do not depend on the place that I am, but a mindset, a way of being that is always available to me at any moment. Finding magic, appreciating beauty, and sitting still in the moment are ways that we can. Connect to the world we are in, and most importantly, to ourselves. I am on this journey inward, I hope it inspires your own!
Here I am, one year later. Happy to read my words, the reminder of myself and how I continually evolve with each experience and each person or place I cross paths with. A year later, boarding a plane in Texas, traveling, seeing, moving, changing, that's just me. Here I go, on the road again. #nocoincidences #timetraveler #trusttheprocess #followyourbliss #knowthyself #youareit #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening #lovelovelove
April 10th, 2016
I am a teacher, traveler, writer, foodie, nature-lover living in New York City. My love of exploration and ceaseless curiosity have led me to incredible people and places. This blog will serve as a reminder that these experiences do not depend on the place that I am, but a mindset, a way of being that is always available to me at any moment. Finding magic, appreciating beauty, and sitting still in the moment are ways that we can. Connect to the world we are in, and most importantly, to ourselves. I am on this journey inward, I hope it inspires your own!
Here I am, one year later. Happy to read my words, the reminder of myself and how I continually evolve with each experience and each person or place I cross paths with. A year later, boarding a plane in Texas, traveling, seeing, moving, changing, that's just me. Here I go, on the road again. #nocoincidences #timetraveler #trusttheprocess #followyourbliss #knowthyself #youareit #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening #lovelovelove
Sunday, April 9, 2017
Wherever You Find Yourself
I'm writing this from a hotel room in Lubbock, Texas. Been one month since I last wrote, phew! And what a month it's been. Let me first start out by saying that I am beyond thrilled that I made this trip out here for the weekend. Not only is it always great to leave the big city, but, most importantly, to spend time with people who you really love. Love not in the sense of obligation or shoulds, but Love because of respect and concern. Of encouragement and understanding. Beyond lines of states, of countries, of languages, of politics, of color, shape, or size. Love for all that unites you and all that separates you. The recognition that these similarities and differences are all a part of the vibrant spectrum of life itself. I would not be me if it weren't for you and you would not be you if it weren't for me, and that is why we find ourselves here, together, now.
Not sure that I ever would have made it to Lubbock, Texas. But then again I could say that about anywhere that I've been. I feel the same about the places I have visited in Spain or the places I visit in New York. And the truth is, yes, there's something to say about places. The smells, the tastes, the sights, the sounds, the feeling. You can feel and know something beyond what you can see. But beyond all that is a tapestry, a carefully woven fabric that brings us to that place at that moment in time. For a reason. I came to Lubbock on my half birthday (six months since my 30th! To the day!) for one of my best friend's weddings. She is a friend who I spent two amazing years of my life with exploring the south of Spain and all of its magic. Another friend who was with us at the time also made the trip. It had been four years since we last were together in New York City. It had been a while (el tiempo vuela!), but it seemed all so familiar to be together. This time in Lubbock, Texas. And what I see and what I feel and what I am beginning to know at the root of my understanding is that yes, places are important, places can captivate you and inspire you, but people and the experiences you make together are really what bring this magic. You are not separate from your environment, and you are most certainly not separate from those people who have woven themselves into your life. All here for a reason, All to show you the value of these connections, of these experiences, of the love that is all around and most importantly, within you.
Congratulations Kristin & Jason! To a lifetime of Love & Happiness!
#jnp4life #españa #auxiliares #lubbocktx #prairiedogtown #wideopenspaces #hastalaproxima #magiceverywhere #lovelovelove #itsallhappening #allthesingleladies #ohitsjustme
<3
Not sure that I ever would have made it to Lubbock, Texas. But then again I could say that about anywhere that I've been. I feel the same about the places I have visited in Spain or the places I visit in New York. And the truth is, yes, there's something to say about places. The smells, the tastes, the sights, the sounds, the feeling. You can feel and know something beyond what you can see. But beyond all that is a tapestry, a carefully woven fabric that brings us to that place at that moment in time. For a reason. I came to Lubbock on my half birthday (six months since my 30th! To the day!) for one of my best friend's weddings. She is a friend who I spent two amazing years of my life with exploring the south of Spain and all of its magic. Another friend who was with us at the time also made the trip. It had been four years since we last were together in New York City. It had been a while (el tiempo vuela!), but it seemed all so familiar to be together. This time in Lubbock, Texas. And what I see and what I feel and what I am beginning to know at the root of my understanding is that yes, places are important, places can captivate you and inspire you, but people and the experiences you make together are really what bring this magic. You are not separate from your environment, and you are most certainly not separate from those people who have woven themselves into your life. All here for a reason, All to show you the value of these connections, of these experiences, of the love that is all around and most importantly, within you.
Congratulations Kristin & Jason! To a lifetime of Love & Happiness!
#jnp4life #españa #auxiliares #lubbocktx #prairiedogtown #wideopenspaces #hastalaproxima #magiceverywhere #lovelovelove #itsallhappening #allthesingleladies #ohitsjustme
<3
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
Back into Whack
Let's just say I've been coming back into whack. You know how we say something's "Out of Whack", yea, well, I'd say that was me for, well, a while. The truth is it's many of us. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, there is just not as much ease, not as much consciousness, not as much choice in us living the lives we really want to live. So let me explain... It started with a plantar's wart. (I'm sure it goes back much farther than that, but let me begin where I remember. )
This plantar's wart arrived on my foot probably over two years ago. So far back I can't even remember. It began small, I tried some at home stuff - apple cider vinegar, over-the-counter stuff, duct tape, all sorts of concoctions. I thought I had removed it. It came back. I was in the midst of the NYC Teaching Fellows (probably described previously as a tumultuous two-year-period of intense anxiety) and just didn't have time for it. Didn't have time to eat, didn't have time to sleep. Didn't have time to go to the doctor to figure any of this stuff out. I just kept telling myself, "Maybe it will just go away, yea, that's right. It will just go away."
Except it didn't... AND it wouldn't because as Pema Chodron says:
So it just stayed there waiting, growing, silently planting its roots, waiting for me to listen. About six months ago I started working at the yoga studio. I later found out there was a woman who was also suffering from a plantar's wart. We had spoken quite often and had found that we had a lot in common. She tells me of Louise Hay's book "You Can Heal Your Life" and how wart's are said to be "little expressions of hate and belief in ugliness". I already knew this as I had the book by my bedside. For those of you who don't know Louise Hay, she's all about the body-mind connection and that changing our thought patterns can heal our bodies. So yea, I knew this, that was great, I had the wart, hadn't taken time to do anything about it. Mostly what I had been doing was trying to understand what the expression of hate at the root of my being could be.
I recognized it to be beliefs about myself and what I'm capable of. I often fall into the habit of limiting myself, of telling myself that I can't do, that I don't deserve it things, that things should just stay as is and not to rock the boat. What is that bullshit?! That's not me, that's not the life I want, it is the most uncomfortable thing... trying to be comfortable in things that don't suit you. So I had pondered that quite a bit but had done nothing, nothing!, about the removal of the wart.
Until one day. About two months ago. When my blue lace agate & quartz crystal pendant hit my front teeth. HARD. It was closing time at the studio and I was tidying up the mats for the next morning. As I picked up the mat to fold it correctly, UP swung the crystal and, SNAP, it hit my front teeth. Crystal. Yes, CRYSTAL. Rocks that take thousands of years to form under intense pressure. I felt a shock run throughout my body. The fascinating thing was that it hit all of the points in my body that I had been recognizing pain or sensitivity in: my left shoulder (sore from overwork and incorrect alignment in some yoga poses), my right hip (tightness), my left calf and heal (tightness & soreness) and then.... YES, I couldn't believe it, the plantar's wart on the ball of my right foot! I stood there in shock, frozen, feeling the bolt through my body, hoping I hadn't broken all of my front teeth.
As I came back to myself, I reached for my front teeth... all there. Phew. Then I realized... holy shit. All of these aches, all of these pains, all of these things that have happened in my life, one after another after another, could all be related to this wart, could all be related to this "anger at the root of my being". It was time to DO something.
Since I had been going round and round in my head and hadn't been able to figure it out, I decided it was time to work from the outside in. Heal the body, heal the mind, heal the mind, heal the body. It works both ways! I found a podiatrist and have been working on the removal of the wart. I have to go back every two weeks for a series of treatments to freeze it and make sure to get all the roots out. Since it has been there for a while, it is pretty deep. The treatments have been more and more uncomfortable, and afterwards, I'm not able to walk on my right foot. It swells up, blisters, and is super sensitive. I have to hobble around and walk super slowly.
This has taught me so much. Patience, appreciation, attention. I have also noticed how much people notice. People feel sorry for me, apologize for my discomfort, wish me well and a fast recovery. They are SO kind. I laugh and say, don't worry, don't be sorry. This was ME. This was my decision! I did this to myself. Seriously. How could I have ignored my body for so long? How did I not think that the pebble-sized growth on my right foot would not affect my balance and then cause plantar fasciitis in my left foot and strain the muscles? Well it did. With over two years of minor adjustments to my walk, to my stance, to my balance, a lot of stuff has been thrown out of whack. But I am happy to say that I'm working it all out. I'm coming back into it. Into alignment, into balance, into whack.
Until Next Time.
Carry on Peaceful Warriors!
#comingback #balance #alignment #healthyself #payattention #wakeup #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening
Thursday, February 16, 2017
Left Side - Right Side & in between
A lot has happened since I've last written, let me catch you up. Last Friday there was a full moon (Snow Moon to be correct) and a lunar eclipse and a comet. Lots of celestial movement. In the week leading up to these events and the start of what many astrologers coin "eclipse season", I felt like some things were falling into place, things I've been wanting to fall into place for some time and they always seem to take longer than expected. For example, My morning rituals, making sure I'm eating regularly (and when my body gets hungry), drinking enough water during the day, making sure I get enough rest. Basic life things, but, unfortunately for many of us, not priorities and not always the top things on our life to-do list. I have found it challenging here in the city to do this, especially during my first two years when I was working full-time as a middle school ESL teacher and working on my masters at the same time. In a program designed by the city... hmmm something doesn't seem right here. So if I'm a full-time teacher AND a full-time student, when do I have any other time for anything, especially me?!
It was a challenging period, to put it lightly. And even though I made a huge change in my work and lifestyle by becoming the manager of my yoga studio, I somehow still found these "life basics" to be, well, not so basic. And then the shift began, and I embraced it. I felt a pull to spend more time by myself, to connect with my close friends, to devote time to create, to feed myself and rest, and just be kinder in general. I might also add that a benefit of working at the studio is that I have made friends with many healers; yoga teachers, massage therapists, Reiki masters, acupuncturists, cranioscral therapists. A few years ago, I didn't even know that some of these things existed, let alone have tried them, or do them on a regular basis. I now have the opportunity to incorporate them into my life, and have people all around me who have this wealth of knowdlege. I am constantly learning about these arts, as well as learning more about myself physically, mentally, and spiritually.
In the past few months I have noticed in these practices that there is pain on several places on my left body. I think I had not noticed before, or it wasn't to the point of irritation. Whatever the case, I found it peculiar that there were things on only the left side. I also became aware of other patterns having to do with right and left body patterns, even as simple as where I sit or which way I sleep. So what I am getting to is that I feel my left body has been worked too hard, had not been used in a gentle loving way, and had been a bit neglected. Left body corresponds to right-brain. Creativity, flow, ease, artistic expression. Whereas my right body is strong, right, tense and over worked. This corresponding to left-brain. Masculine, order, logic, structure, planning. Go, go, go. More, more, more. You see?
So with the pre-eclipse and post-eclipse I saw the shift in attention to my left body, specifically my shoulder. I believe I hurt it from incorrect positioning in several yoga poses and just generally overworking it. I also believe I caught it early enough to not have caused any lasting injury (though i will be checking it out!). Point being that I am now intentionally acting with focus on my left shoulder. Which class will i take today? What do you say left shoulder? No class? Okay, well then we still need to do our stretching. Gentle hatha? Sounds nice! Okay then. How about those downward facing dogs? Not feeling it? No worries, coming down to rest.
This seems to be a way of me listening to that quiet voice. My heart, my soul, that gentle, patient part of me that often gets skipped over or put on hold. What I've realized and am beginning to incorporate into my life is that I need to listen to my body and what it is telling me. If something doesn't feel right, I don't need to do it, NO explanation needed. If something feels good, like a warm cozy hug, go for it. I only have this one body and this one life here, I am meant to be happy. I am meant to be well. I am meant to be free from suffering. I can only be responsible for ME. My ONLY responsibility is to take care of my needs, and part of that is listening to my heart. What is it that I desire? What is it that won't leave me alone? If I ignore it long enough it will show up, as synchronicity, as aches, as pains, even as depression (if we really don't listen). So I am listening, really listening. AND asking for strength and courage to do what needs to be done, when the time comes. It's not time to sit back and be quiet, this is the only time I've got. I've begun to focus more on what I want. Not sure how or when these things will happen, but my focus will manifest them. And that I'm sure. So, that's that.
That's the update, for now. ❤️🙏❤
#listentoyourheart #healthyself #followyourbliss #beherenow #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening
It was a challenging period, to put it lightly. And even though I made a huge change in my work and lifestyle by becoming the manager of my yoga studio, I somehow still found these "life basics" to be, well, not so basic. And then the shift began, and I embraced it. I felt a pull to spend more time by myself, to connect with my close friends, to devote time to create, to feed myself and rest, and just be kinder in general. I might also add that a benefit of working at the studio is that I have made friends with many healers; yoga teachers, massage therapists, Reiki masters, acupuncturists, cranioscral therapists. A few years ago, I didn't even know that some of these things existed, let alone have tried them, or do them on a regular basis. I now have the opportunity to incorporate them into my life, and have people all around me who have this wealth of knowdlege. I am constantly learning about these arts, as well as learning more about myself physically, mentally, and spiritually.
In the past few months I have noticed in these practices that there is pain on several places on my left body. I think I had not noticed before, or it wasn't to the point of irritation. Whatever the case, I found it peculiar that there were things on only the left side. I also became aware of other patterns having to do with right and left body patterns, even as simple as where I sit or which way I sleep. So what I am getting to is that I feel my left body has been worked too hard, had not been used in a gentle loving way, and had been a bit neglected. Left body corresponds to right-brain. Creativity, flow, ease, artistic expression. Whereas my right body is strong, right, tense and over worked. This corresponding to left-brain. Masculine, order, logic, structure, planning. Go, go, go. More, more, more. You see?
So with the pre-eclipse and post-eclipse I saw the shift in attention to my left body, specifically my shoulder. I believe I hurt it from incorrect positioning in several yoga poses and just generally overworking it. I also believe I caught it early enough to not have caused any lasting injury (though i will be checking it out!). Point being that I am now intentionally acting with focus on my left shoulder. Which class will i take today? What do you say left shoulder? No class? Okay, well then we still need to do our stretching. Gentle hatha? Sounds nice! Okay then. How about those downward facing dogs? Not feeling it? No worries, coming down to rest.
This seems to be a way of me listening to that quiet voice. My heart, my soul, that gentle, patient part of me that often gets skipped over or put on hold. What I've realized and am beginning to incorporate into my life is that I need to listen to my body and what it is telling me. If something doesn't feel right, I don't need to do it, NO explanation needed. If something feels good, like a warm cozy hug, go for it. I only have this one body and this one life here, I am meant to be happy. I am meant to be well. I am meant to be free from suffering. I can only be responsible for ME. My ONLY responsibility is to take care of my needs, and part of that is listening to my heart. What is it that I desire? What is it that won't leave me alone? If I ignore it long enough it will show up, as synchronicity, as aches, as pains, even as depression (if we really don't listen). So I am listening, really listening. AND asking for strength and courage to do what needs to be done, when the time comes. It's not time to sit back and be quiet, this is the only time I've got. I've begun to focus more on what I want. Not sure how or when these things will happen, but my focus will manifest them. And that I'm sure. So, that's that.
That's the update, for now. ❤️🙏❤
#listentoyourheart #healthyself #followyourbliss #beherenow #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening
Monday, February 6, 2017
You Get What You Need
You know how the song goes...
You can't always get what you want.
You can't always get what you want.
You can't always get what you want,
but if you try sometimes, you might find,
You get what you need.
And that's really it. We have everything that we need. We have everything that we need. We have everything that we need. And to know this, to know that at this moment, at this time, we have have we need changes EVERYTHING.
From my own experience, I have seen it very easily reflected back to me in my surroundings. When I am in the space of gratitude, of knowing that I have everything that I need in this moment, things align, things come to me that I've been thinking of, life flows.
When I find things taken away, never feeling like there's enough, never being able to maintain a balance or a comfortable calm, this is when I'm focused on what I don't have, what I might have or could have, what is the next best thing, bigger, better, more, more, more!
Some would call it the ego, some would call it the collective culture, others would call it the zeitgeist, and still others a form of mental illness, perhaps depression or anxiety.
It goes further that things though, it's much deeper than that, it's about knowing who and what you are. It's knowing that you ARE everything that you need and you ARE everything you are looking for. You are Powerful beyond limits. You Are a Miracle. You are Here for a Reason. You Are Loved. You Are Love. That is what brought you here, that is what created you, that is why you are alive at this very instant. That inhale... Love. That exhale... love.
Where else would it come from? It all serves a purpose, a divine, loving purpose. Much greater than you, much greater than me. We are made of the stuff of stars and this universe will provide for us all that is needed. Always. You will always get what you need, maybe not in the shape or form expected, but as it is supposed to be. Remember. Remember. You Get What You Need. You Have What You Need.
#gratitude #givethanks #vibes #energy #resonance #knowwhoyouare #youareit #lovelovelove #divinity #beherenow #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening
I like the reminder of this message from Charles Bradley: I'm Just a Soldier Passing Through
Thursday, February 2, 2017
Baby Steps
My messages from the universe today: have patience with yourself, everything is learning, be kind, be gentle, take it easy, step by step. As a recovering perfectionist, I recognize when my mind seeks to control and have everything just as it has imagined. When things aren't that way or seem to take longer than expected, I get agitated and second guess.
Maybe this isn't meant for me, maybe this isn't really what I want, maybe this is just not meant to be, this is just horrible, not good enough, it needs to be this way now!... the focus, rather, as I recover from these tendencies is on the process and the enjoyment of where I am at that moment.
Did I want to ask this person about something I heard them talking about? Did I enjoy a class and share my appreciation with the teacher or other students? Did I start a conversation and find our common thread (because there ALWAYS is one)? Did I find the beauty and perfection in the moment, whatever or how ever it looks like? It's coming to the realization that everything, when you fall, when you balance, when you laugh, when you cry, ALL of it, is just as it should be. When you recognize the ups and downs, the fluctuations of these brief and fleeting moments, you can begin to appreciate it all; the highs, the lows the excitement, and the mundane, because the truth is you are SO MUCH MORE than all of that.
The truth is you are being born everyday. You are learning every moment. By focusing on how you want to feel and where you want to go, you will be able to recognize the necessity of being kind to yourself. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Take it easy, take care, listen to your BODY and what it is telling you. Keep your eyes on the prize and that will keep your day to day actions focused and clear. Whereever you are headed on this journey, know that all of it, ALL of it, is taken in baby steps. One step at a time. Be patient with yourself, everything will come to you in just the right time. Keep. On. Keeping. On.
#theuniversespeaks #trusttheprocess #followtheyellowbrickroad #patience #courage #babysteps #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening
Maybe this isn't meant for me, maybe this isn't really what I want, maybe this is just not meant to be, this is just horrible, not good enough, it needs to be this way now!... the focus, rather, as I recover from these tendencies is on the process and the enjoyment of where I am at that moment.
Did I want to ask this person about something I heard them talking about? Did I enjoy a class and share my appreciation with the teacher or other students? Did I start a conversation and find our common thread (because there ALWAYS is one)? Did I find the beauty and perfection in the moment, whatever or how ever it looks like? It's coming to the realization that everything, when you fall, when you balance, when you laugh, when you cry, ALL of it, is just as it should be. When you recognize the ups and downs, the fluctuations of these brief and fleeting moments, you can begin to appreciate it all; the highs, the lows the excitement, and the mundane, because the truth is you are SO MUCH MORE than all of that.
The truth is you are being born everyday. You are learning every moment. By focusing on how you want to feel and where you want to go, you will be able to recognize the necessity of being kind to yourself. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Take it easy, take care, listen to your BODY and what it is telling you. Keep your eyes on the prize and that will keep your day to day actions focused and clear. Whereever you are headed on this journey, know that all of it, ALL of it, is taken in baby steps. One step at a time. Be patient with yourself, everything will come to you in just the right time. Keep. On. Keeping. On.
#theuniversespeaks #trusttheprocess #followtheyellowbrickroad #patience #courage #babysteps #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Life is Beautiful & Chamomile Tea
I've been pretty blah lately. Things have been heavy, I've felt rushed, like there's so much to do (personally, professionally, in the community and our collective society) and I can't seem to fit it all in, and not fitting it in means I'm not succeeding, not doing enough, not doing well enough, just not enough. Not enough, Not enough. Not enough. I know many of us are feeling these things, there's been so much going on.
This morning, I opened up Gabby Bernstein's "The Universe Has Got Your Back" and recognized a similar story to what I've been experiencing. As I have been telling myself I'm not enough, I feel I don't want to be seen, I don't want to be heard, I'm not good enough for that. I want to be safe, I want to be small and on and on and on.
And what do I get from those feelings? In some areas I feel I want to be small, I want to be safe, I want to be quiet, I don't want to be seen. At the same time, in other areas where I'd prefer to be relaxed, I get The Universe calling me to step into my power. To step in, lean in, embrace this power. The Universe is guiding me to do so despite the fear talk that wants to keep me safe and small. I cannot run from it. You cannot run from your life, from your duty, from your purpose, it will always find you, it will always follow you, it is what you are meant for! My voice is being called to be heard, I am called to be seen, I am called to make my name, face, opinion known. It is mine, it is me, it is enough! I am enough. I am enough. I am enough. My voice matters. I matter.
During my reading, I made annotations, as usual, comparing excerpts with the movie Life is Beautiful and the book The Alchemist, among other things. I liked how she suggested asking to be guided by the Universe, looking for the guidance, and trusting in it once it presents itself. So I began my day on that foot, thinking, "Okay, Universe, I am here because you put me here and I will trust and follow your signs. I will get out of the way and trust whole-heartedly in all that you are presenting me with. Please guide me and show me the way I should go."
With that in mind, I hopped into an uber and the driver, super peppy and positive, wished me, "Happy New Year!" and our conversation flowed. He spoke of the music on his radio, west coast electric rock and roll, and totally recommended it for good vibes. I shared with him the ickiness I've been feeling lately, how in actuality things are pretty great, I just always seem to fall into complaining or sitting in the blah-ness instead of shifting and choosing to see the good. That's my journey, I guess, that's all of our journeys. He then recommended "herbal teas", specifically chamomile, "it's a great one". All right, Mike, thanks! And off I went.
... the day goes on, and I recognize the signs. The teacher of the kids' dance class tells me she felt inspired to use this song for their dance routine because of the movie Life is Beautiful... and I'm like, wait whatttt?! Life is Beautiful? Really? Check out my annotation from this morning. Thanks, Universe, noted. Life. is Beautiful. Then, my friend from work who is super geeky into herbalism and makes awesome teas, makes me an elderberry blend to help with my sore throat/sinus stuff going on. As we're sitting there, she says, "You want to know why Chamomile tea is so great?" And again, I'm like... wait whattttt... Chamomile? Really? Thanks, Universe! There you go again. She then proceeds to tell me about the magic of the plant and why it actually does what it does to uplift us. And so it goes... I asked to be guided, I was given the guidance, and I roll with it. Life is Beautiful... and Chamomile tea. Keep it simple. Just like that.
#spiritguides #theuniverse #youareit #shareyourstory #wakeup #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening #healerhealthyself #takeiteasy #takeitslow #Iamenough
Friday, January 27, 2017
Courage
Just out of a bath. Haven't taken one in a while. While I lay there staring at the Courage candle I bought for myself a few weeks ago, this mantra came to mind, "Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is be yourself."
"Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is be yourself."
"Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is be yourself."
Be Yourself, Listen to Yourself, Love Yourself, Fearlessly.
And on that note, it's time for bed.
Love to You All.
"Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is be yourself."
"Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is be yourself."
Be Yourself, Listen to Yourself, Love Yourself, Fearlessly.
And on that note, it's time for bed.
Love to You All.
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
It's All There, All Along.
Over the past week A LOT has happened. A LOT. Collectively, professionally, personally, there's just a lot of movement. That's how I've been calling it. Movement, shifts, opportunities for growth. And in the midst of this, what happens? I feel swept up, rushed, confused, unable to focus, it's a lot of fear basically. What's going on? How will it end up? Why is it like this right now? Why can't this all just match my vision of how I see it, right now, just as it should be? And then about myself... can I handle this? How will I manage it? Am I ready to do this? Do I want to do this? Will I ever know? Will I ever feel confident enough to do this? And yes, all of this, especially during these times. Fear comes in, fear lingers, and how does it make me feel? Is it bringing resolution? No. Is it making me feel better? No. Is it productive? No. And so I learn. Asking all of these questions and wondering and worrying doesn't get me anywhere but stuck in my head. When I shift into love, when I sit and breathe and take a minute, things present themselves, things are just there. It's all there, all along.
If you've been in touch with me recently, you've probably heard of the issues I'm having with my apartment and management company; we've been out of gas since a fire in July and there is little to no word on updates. I've begun to hold monthly housing meetings and created a facebook group for correspondence and information sharing. This takes a lot of my energy, a considerable amount. But the truth is that I enjoy bringing people together, I enjoy educating myself and others on issues of importance, I enjoy empowering people, and I enjoy standing up for what is right. I feel power, I feel courage, and I feel strong. It brings out the best in me.
On the flip side, it can also wear me out... when I spend my free mornings and evenings holding meetings, doing research, meeting with attorneys, calling the company. It can be exhausting. So I read my cards last week or two weeks ago and what showed up... all things about my home and my housing situation. The story read that I am taking on much more than is needed and that I already know that it's not a great situation and that the company is being dishonest and tricky in their business. The outcome revealed to me just what I needed to know, "Justice", that all would end just as it is supposed to. The truth will be revealed, there is no rush, just trust and know and prepare myself. So I stopped the rush for information, I stopped filling up my time with meetings and phone calls. I began to focus on my work and the movement going on there, and when I did...
My first work-study came in on Saturday for his training. We went through ins-and-outs of the online system, space, shift responsibilities and then talking about some things... shared a bit about my housing issue, then he about his; similarities, three roommates, old building, not too thrilled with the management company and overall vibe of the situation. He tells me he's been in court for months with his housing company over several issues, first gas and now holdover. I ask about the gas issue, he says the gas was shut off because the pipes were too old and had to be replaced in the whole building. The same issue as in my building. He says the process took two years. It's been six months at mine. He said he withheld rent. I said we have started to as well. I ask who his management company was and he says... "E&A?" "E&A or E&M? They both exist, E&A is good, E&M, not so much." "Not sure, but I do know that before the case started, the building was sold to them by Galil management."
My jaw dropped... the SAME management company. Same situation. Pre-fire, Galil. Post-fire, E&M. Exactly. They pass it on and on and on, avoiding what needs to get done, avoiding any trouble, one huge scam. Like playing chips on a board. Except we're not and I won't let them... He then proceeded to outline the whole process, what he did, what they did, the court, the settlement, the details. It was just what I had been looking for. It was what I had been hoping to hear or find somewhere. Someone who had been through and knew what to do. And so it goes. When I stopped pushing and pulling, and scheduling and doing, there it was. When I settled back into myself and brought my focus to what I truly needed to get done, all of the information I was seeking came to me, in divine timing. Not on my watch, but just when it was meant to. And there it was, right in front of me. It was all there. All along.
#itsallconnected #followtheyellowbrickroad #theuniversehasgotyourback #lovelovelove #shareyourstory #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening #trusttheprocessofyourlife #takeiteasy #letitbe #youareit
If you've been in touch with me recently, you've probably heard of the issues I'm having with my apartment and management company; we've been out of gas since a fire in July and there is little to no word on updates. I've begun to hold monthly housing meetings and created a facebook group for correspondence and information sharing. This takes a lot of my energy, a considerable amount. But the truth is that I enjoy bringing people together, I enjoy educating myself and others on issues of importance, I enjoy empowering people, and I enjoy standing up for what is right. I feel power, I feel courage, and I feel strong. It brings out the best in me.
On the flip side, it can also wear me out... when I spend my free mornings and evenings holding meetings, doing research, meeting with attorneys, calling the company. It can be exhausting. So I read my cards last week or two weeks ago and what showed up... all things about my home and my housing situation. The story read that I am taking on much more than is needed and that I already know that it's not a great situation and that the company is being dishonest and tricky in their business. The outcome revealed to me just what I needed to know, "Justice", that all would end just as it is supposed to. The truth will be revealed, there is no rush, just trust and know and prepare myself. So I stopped the rush for information, I stopped filling up my time with meetings and phone calls. I began to focus on my work and the movement going on there, and when I did...
My first work-study came in on Saturday for his training. We went through ins-and-outs of the online system, space, shift responsibilities and then talking about some things... shared a bit about my housing issue, then he about his; similarities, three roommates, old building, not too thrilled with the management company and overall vibe of the situation. He tells me he's been in court for months with his housing company over several issues, first gas and now holdover. I ask about the gas issue, he says the gas was shut off because the pipes were too old and had to be replaced in the whole building. The same issue as in my building. He says the process took two years. It's been six months at mine. He said he withheld rent. I said we have started to as well. I ask who his management company was and he says... "E&A?" "E&A or E&M? They both exist, E&A is good, E&M, not so much." "Not sure, but I do know that before the case started, the building was sold to them by Galil management."
My jaw dropped... the SAME management company. Same situation. Pre-fire, Galil. Post-fire, E&M. Exactly. They pass it on and on and on, avoiding what needs to get done, avoiding any trouble, one huge scam. Like playing chips on a board. Except we're not and I won't let them... He then proceeded to outline the whole process, what he did, what they did, the court, the settlement, the details. It was just what I had been looking for. It was what I had been hoping to hear or find somewhere. Someone who had been through and knew what to do. And so it goes. When I stopped pushing and pulling, and scheduling and doing, there it was. When I settled back into myself and brought my focus to what I truly needed to get done, all of the information I was seeking came to me, in divine timing. Not on my watch, but just when it was meant to. And there it was, right in front of me. It was all there. All along.
#itsallconnected #followtheyellowbrickroad #theuniversehasgotyourback #lovelovelove #shareyourstory #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening #trusttheprocessofyourlife #takeiteasy #letitbe #youareit
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Warriors of The Rainbow 🌈
You know what all the magical people have in common? They follow the sun. They follow the natural rhythm of things. They tune in to what was here and where we come from and all the bounty that is around us all the time. When I say the "magical people", I mean the people who were here before us, our ancestors, the original peoples, the indigenous, native peoples of earth. Who were they and what were they doing? They were warriors of the rainbow, they followed the sun, the light, that rhythms of Mother Earth. I see that motion. I understand that motion. I find myself wondering... where is the sun? Why does it seem so hard to find it? Have we gotten off course? It all seems pretty dark at times... and then I worry. I find myself worrying and I step back and say, is this where I want to go or do I want to follow the sun? I find more and more the awareness that I can tune myself into that. Follow the sun. Follow your bliss. Recognize the abundance that lies around you at all times and places. You are alive. You have this breath. You have woken up today. You are here for a reason. Trust that, know that, you are a warrior of the rainbow. Our time is coming. We've got this. See you along the way.
Love & Light
#landbridge #followthesun #followtheyellowbrickroad #samestory #itsallthesamestory #herosjourney #josephcampbell #warriorsoftherainbow #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening #thisisit
Love & Light
#landbridge #followthesun #followtheyellowbrickroad #samestory #itsallthesamestory #herosjourney #josephcampbell #warriorsoftherainbow #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening #thisisit
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
I Am A Part of It.
Transitions freak me out. I am not sure what the transition is or where it is presenting. If it's just in my personal life, my professional life, the collective life, probably all of it. I actually saw in a documentary last week that we are transitioning between ages, from the age of Pisces ( 0 A.D. to present) into the age of Aquarius in 2150. Talking century long transition coming to an end. That's a big one! Oh also, not that you didn't know, but we are inaugurating a new president in a couple of days. I'd like to think that I've settled into that idea, but yeaaaa not so much. It's still a bit Hunger Games-ish for me. So I feel this collective surge of dis-ease at the moment. And then in my personal life there are transitions, apartment, people, relationships, and professionally, a changing of roles, new projects, a change in the space and energy. There is A LOT of movement. While I know in the big picture that this is all happening exactly as it should, and I, as a player in each of these aspects, have been instrumental in the transitions that are happening (whether I notice or take credit at all), it still is not easy for me.
During these times of change I feel a pull to withdraw, to go away, to shrink back and say, "Well, this just isn't my thing, yea... I'm not so sure about that. Can't I just hang out over here and let things just go along? I'm not really all THAT important in this shift, am I?" Seriously. I start getting impatient with it all, thinking, "This is just not the way things are supposed to be. It should just align with my vision for the future, NOW. Either align with my vision now or this just isn't working. Why is it not aligning? Why is it not working? This just doesn't feel right." That's what my mind is doing. And during these times I get tons of reminders to Wake Up and see that this is all happening exactly as it should. That I am traveling this road for a reason, and the lesson is to Wake Up to that. That this road I travel is IT. This road I travel is the same as every other road I've traveled and will travel. That to make the most of this moment, right here and now is what I am here to do.
Reminders over the past few days have been big: We are redesigning the entry space at the studio and were looking for benches and other furniture to fill the space. I had a vision in mind as did the owner and the woman who helps with interior design of the space. I envisioned handmade wood benches, sturdy, heavy-duty, withstanding weight and years and wear and tear. We went ahead and looked online. We ended up ordering some pieces and are awaiting their delivery (until then, it seems we have just moved into an unfurnished apartment :P) So I'm explaining the vision to students as they come into and out of classes and this guy says, "Do you need a bench-maker?" And I thought to myself, what an interesting question. Is there even such thing as a bench-maker? Is that a real job-title? He must know someone if he asked, right? "... Do you know one?" I replied. "Yea, me." And I stared and smiled and kind of jumped, "You're a bench-maker?! You mean it's you?! You've been here all along!" And there it was, right in front of me, the dude who could make our benches. Though he won't because we already ordered them, so I'm feeling to ask about some other pieces for the studio. Point of story being, when you ask, when you share, when you open up and let out all that you desire, when you dare to dream, dare to imagine, create a vision in your mind, all of the universe works to bring it to you.
Another, I was at a gathering the other night with a friend from the studio and many of her long-time and recent friends. I felt like I was entering the party scene from the movie Neruda, let me paint it for you: The energy was that of poets, writers, musicians, progressives, alternative lifestyle, free-spirits, authentic people, an underground scene, open, loving, inviting, full of love and perhaps, illegal activities. Wine was flowing, food was abundant, and conversation jumped across the table from person to person, music in the background, the host running into and out of the kitchen, old friends and new merging into family. It was wonderful. So as the night was winding down, I was talking to my university professor (who happens to live across the hall from this woman I befriended at the studio! #nocoincidences) and the host, telling them of all the apartment issues I've been having and all the changes that are coming about. The host ends up sharing a story of a tenant that she has and I think, "What tenant and where?"
Side note: For two plus years now I have envisioned an apartment, studio or one bedroom, lots of light, quiet place, comfy, lived-in, natural materials, positive energy vibe, less than $1000 in Inwood or Washington Heights... originally Inwood. I fell in love with Inwood because of its parks and a yoga studio that I really enjoyed. It is a quiet section of Manhattan and it has a really great energy, also has the last natural forest on Manhattan (fun fact!). So I envisioned this apartment about two years ago and I wrote it down in my notebook and it's been in my mind all this time. Anywho, back to the party.
So I ask her about this, "You have another apartment?" "Yea, I rent it out." "... Where is it?" "A studio in Inwood," she replied with a questioning look on her face. I felt the excitement building in me, it couldn't be that she has this apartment I've envisioned. No. Really? Could it be? "... and how much is it?" "$900 a month". I kind of expected this, though shocked at what I heard, "You have my apartment! That's the apartment I've been looking for!" She did, she had it all along, just like there was a bench-maker right in front of me. All I had to do was find that connection, or let it find me, just when it was supposed to. So turns out she had just agreed to rent it out to another guy, though not sure if it will work out or not. The plus side is (as there is always one) that now she knows about me and what I'm looking for, now whenever she needs someone, she knows that I have sent out that message, just like the bench-maker friend knows that we're looking for some carpentry work.
So for whatever reason these things happen and I am witness to them and an integral part of them coming to life. I am not just some random thing that can be removed and not felt in absence, I am critical to the fabric of these connections at this time and place. When I start to feel that I could just duck away, step out and no one would notice, I receive reminders like this: Open Your Eyes, You Are Enough, You Have Enough, It's All Here, You Are In Just The Right Place at Just the Right Time, Trust the Process, You are Everything that You Need, Be Grateful, Be Thankful, Love Every Piece of It.
A friend gave me a mantra today, "I Am Enough, I Have Enough, Everything that I Need is Coming to Me." And that's that, strengthening myself and knowing that the transition is just that, a transition, and I'm along for the beautiful, magic-filled, synchronistic ride.
#ridethewave #thisisit #youareit #trusttheprocess #transitions #synchronicity #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening
During these times of change I feel a pull to withdraw, to go away, to shrink back and say, "Well, this just isn't my thing, yea... I'm not so sure about that. Can't I just hang out over here and let things just go along? I'm not really all THAT important in this shift, am I?" Seriously. I start getting impatient with it all, thinking, "This is just not the way things are supposed to be. It should just align with my vision for the future, NOW. Either align with my vision now or this just isn't working. Why is it not aligning? Why is it not working? This just doesn't feel right." That's what my mind is doing. And during these times I get tons of reminders to Wake Up and see that this is all happening exactly as it should. That I am traveling this road for a reason, and the lesson is to Wake Up to that. That this road I travel is IT. This road I travel is the same as every other road I've traveled and will travel. That to make the most of this moment, right here and now is what I am here to do.
Reminders over the past few days have been big: We are redesigning the entry space at the studio and were looking for benches and other furniture to fill the space. I had a vision in mind as did the owner and the woman who helps with interior design of the space. I envisioned handmade wood benches, sturdy, heavy-duty, withstanding weight and years and wear and tear. We went ahead and looked online. We ended up ordering some pieces and are awaiting their delivery (until then, it seems we have just moved into an unfurnished apartment :P) So I'm explaining the vision to students as they come into and out of classes and this guy says, "Do you need a bench-maker?" And I thought to myself, what an interesting question. Is there even such thing as a bench-maker? Is that a real job-title? He must know someone if he asked, right? "... Do you know one?" I replied. "Yea, me." And I stared and smiled and kind of jumped, "You're a bench-maker?! You mean it's you?! You've been here all along!" And there it was, right in front of me, the dude who could make our benches. Though he won't because we already ordered them, so I'm feeling to ask about some other pieces for the studio. Point of story being, when you ask, when you share, when you open up and let out all that you desire, when you dare to dream, dare to imagine, create a vision in your mind, all of the universe works to bring it to you.
Another, I was at a gathering the other night with a friend from the studio and many of her long-time and recent friends. I felt like I was entering the party scene from the movie Neruda, let me paint it for you: The energy was that of poets, writers, musicians, progressives, alternative lifestyle, free-spirits, authentic people, an underground scene, open, loving, inviting, full of love and perhaps, illegal activities. Wine was flowing, food was abundant, and conversation jumped across the table from person to person, music in the background, the host running into and out of the kitchen, old friends and new merging into family. It was wonderful. So as the night was winding down, I was talking to my university professor (who happens to live across the hall from this woman I befriended at the studio! #nocoincidences) and the host, telling them of all the apartment issues I've been having and all the changes that are coming about. The host ends up sharing a story of a tenant that she has and I think, "What tenant and where?"
Side note: For two plus years now I have envisioned an apartment, studio or one bedroom, lots of light, quiet place, comfy, lived-in, natural materials, positive energy vibe, less than $1000 in Inwood or Washington Heights... originally Inwood. I fell in love with Inwood because of its parks and a yoga studio that I really enjoyed. It is a quiet section of Manhattan and it has a really great energy, also has the last natural forest on Manhattan (fun fact!). So I envisioned this apartment about two years ago and I wrote it down in my notebook and it's been in my mind all this time. Anywho, back to the party.
So I ask her about this, "You have another apartment?" "Yea, I rent it out." "... Where is it?" "A studio in Inwood," she replied with a questioning look on her face. I felt the excitement building in me, it couldn't be that she has this apartment I've envisioned. No. Really? Could it be? "... and how much is it?" "$900 a month". I kind of expected this, though shocked at what I heard, "You have my apartment! That's the apartment I've been looking for!" She did, she had it all along, just like there was a bench-maker right in front of me. All I had to do was find that connection, or let it find me, just when it was supposed to. So turns out she had just agreed to rent it out to another guy, though not sure if it will work out or not. The plus side is (as there is always one) that now she knows about me and what I'm looking for, now whenever she needs someone, she knows that I have sent out that message, just like the bench-maker friend knows that we're looking for some carpentry work.
So for whatever reason these things happen and I am witness to them and an integral part of them coming to life. I am not just some random thing that can be removed and not felt in absence, I am critical to the fabric of these connections at this time and place. When I start to feel that I could just duck away, step out and no one would notice, I receive reminders like this: Open Your Eyes, You Are Enough, You Have Enough, It's All Here, You Are In Just The Right Place at Just the Right Time, Trust the Process, You are Everything that You Need, Be Grateful, Be Thankful, Love Every Piece of It.
A friend gave me a mantra today, "I Am Enough, I Have Enough, Everything that I Need is Coming to Me." And that's that, strengthening myself and knowing that the transition is just that, a transition, and I'm along for the beautiful, magic-filled, synchronistic ride.
#ridethewave #thisisit #youareit #trusttheprocess #transitions #synchronicity #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Ride the Wave
What a day! Well, what a couple of days, really. I've been feeling kind of "off", kinda cranky, not into things, and just kind of "floaty". Yea, floaty is the word I've been using from yesterday into today. I usually feel A LOT of things in my body, physical reactions to events that spark emotions like anxiousness, excitement, fear, love, etc. I feel them A LOT. In my chest, in my shoulder, in my back, depending on what it is and what it is about, I'm noticing these connections. But for the past day or two it's just been really fuzzy. Not sure what I'm feeling or what is what. I feel quite a bit of upward moving energy, hence the term "floaty". Like I'm being pulled up there into the planets, swirling around in their beautiful dance with them. (I've also heard a lot about weighing less during these times, too. So that would really explain the floaty-ness) Check out these celestial dances, magical!
So over the past day a bunch of things have gone, well, just not as planned... yesterday, as my coworker was getting into work and taking off her coat, getting settled, her earring fell off and disappeared, as we were looking for it, a large bug jumped out in another area of the studio. Later on (didn't realize until today!) a friend left a box with a few gifted items at a restaurant, then I was making tea and totally forgot about it, left the pot on the stove, all the water boiled out, pot was melting, filled apartment with horrible burning smell. Thank goodness the smell triggered my memory. That was the scariest thing. I was just forgetful, spacey, not concentrated or grounded in activities. And it appears it wasn't just me.
What I really needed was some reassurance today, what I really needed was to know that it wasn't just me, that this was everyone, everything, and a flow that I should accept as natural and customary. I didn't know where that was coming from or in what shape or form, but it was definitely what I was looking for... and it came. In the form of people. In the shape of words, conversation, connection.
Thursdays are usually pretty heavy on the computer work at the studio (responding to emails, compiling the newsletter, etc.) but today... less than five emails arrived ALL DAY. En serio (seriously), no joke. And it was perfect because I was called to conversation. I had a meeting with a potential work study, I met with my coworker and the massage therapist, then the acupuncturist, then a friend who stopped by, then the kids and their parents, then a jewelry-maker who may sell at our boutique, then some more students, then closed and here I am. What a beautiful, beautiful dance. From here to there, floating seamless into and out of conversation, into and out of speaking and sharing and listening. Sharing my story, listening to stories, recognizing the beauty, the uniqueness of each individual. This brought me back, this was just what I needed today. I felt that magic, I felt compelled to sage, to burn incense, to pick a new crystal. And I did. It's the full moon and it's Friday the 13th and the floating may last for a little while. With all of that, all that I can do is dance... and float. Float along with all the other celestial bodies out there. Just Float With It. Ride The Wave.
#weremadeofstars #starstuff #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening #youaremeiamyou
So over the past day a bunch of things have gone, well, just not as planned... yesterday, as my coworker was getting into work and taking off her coat, getting settled, her earring fell off and disappeared, as we were looking for it, a large bug jumped out in another area of the studio. Later on (didn't realize until today!) a friend left a box with a few gifted items at a restaurant, then I was making tea and totally forgot about it, left the pot on the stove, all the water boiled out, pot was melting, filled apartment with horrible burning smell. Thank goodness the smell triggered my memory. That was the scariest thing. I was just forgetful, spacey, not concentrated or grounded in activities. And it appears it wasn't just me.
What I really needed was some reassurance today, what I really needed was to know that it wasn't just me, that this was everyone, everything, and a flow that I should accept as natural and customary. I didn't know where that was coming from or in what shape or form, but it was definitely what I was looking for... and it came. In the form of people. In the shape of words, conversation, connection.
Thursdays are usually pretty heavy on the computer work at the studio (responding to emails, compiling the newsletter, etc.) but today... less than five emails arrived ALL DAY. En serio (seriously), no joke. And it was perfect because I was called to conversation. I had a meeting with a potential work study, I met with my coworker and the massage therapist, then the acupuncturist, then a friend who stopped by, then the kids and their parents, then a jewelry-maker who may sell at our boutique, then some more students, then closed and here I am. What a beautiful, beautiful dance. From here to there, floating seamless into and out of conversation, into and out of speaking and sharing and listening. Sharing my story, listening to stories, recognizing the beauty, the uniqueness of each individual. This brought me back, this was just what I needed today. I felt that magic, I felt compelled to sage, to burn incense, to pick a new crystal. And I did. It's the full moon and it's Friday the 13th and the floating may last for a little while. With all of that, all that I can do is dance... and float. Float along with all the other celestial bodies out there. Just Float With It. Ride The Wave.
#weremadeofstars #starstuff #magiceverywhere #itsallhappening #youaremeiamyou
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
Return of the Jedi
One Week! One Week without writing! What am I thinking? What am I doing? Who do I think I am?! Well, truth is I am a Jedi. But hey, there are NO Jedi's out there that go a week without being a Jedi... without practicing their skills and being in tune with The Force. No seriously. You've got to tune in, you've got to practice, you've got to Let. That. Shit. Out. Otherwise it brews in you, it stirs, it twists and turns and starts to whirl you all over the place. You start to think. To wonder. To ponder the sides, the possibilities, the what if's. You become susceptible to the Dark Side of The Force if you don't take the time to tune into yourself. After all, The Force isn't meant to be held in, to be kept inside you just for you, it's meant to be used, to be shared, to be practiced.
And you know why? It's so interesting, really. The more we let out, the more returns to us. The more we share, the more we see our vision, our thoughts, our beliefs, our power reinforced and strengthened. Of course, it's always up to us to Tune In and practice. To come back to ourselves and focus. To see what is it really that is going on here? Why am I not practicing my Jedi skills? Why am I not believing I am a Jedi? Is it because I'm not a Jedi? ...
No, it is not. You are a Jedi. You did not choose it, it was given to you. That is your gift. Even though you may try to run from it, it will always find you because you are Always called to it and it called to you. You are needed. It is needed from you.
Okay, so if I am a Jedi, why don't I feel like one?
Well, let's see, are you practicing? Are you tuning into The Force?
Mmmmm, not really. Like, once a week. Maybe. Sometimes it's more often.
Okay then, so does a once-a-week Jedi role suit you? Do you think that's even worth it? What about all the other days, what are you doing? You think you're just going to be a Jedi by sitting around? You think a Jedi is just going to be able to combat the dark side of The Force like that? I mean, you are right, it is within you, BUT it does not mean that you don't have to do the work. It does not mean that you do not have to practice. Practice is what makes the Jedi. The Jedi is his practice. Through practice you become, through practice you believe, through practice you embody that which is beginning to take form within you. BUT only if you choose to strengthen it. There is always a choice.
So what happens when you don't practice? What happens when you don't write? You don't write. Then you don't write. Then you don't write. Until you're not. And then you're not and then you just don't even remember what you're doing here in the first place. What was that thing that was so exciting? What was that thing that felt so good? What was that thing that kept me up late, ideas flowing, making connections, leading me somewhere? Oh Yea! That's what it was. What happened to that? Where did that go? I wonder if it will still feel the same... Is it even worth it?
Yes, it must be, if I keep on thinking about it. If it can't leave me alone then it is worth listening to.
Then you begin. You open that post. You type those words. You play that chord, you sing that note, you move those feet. And poof! You're in it. The Force. There it is. Not in the way you remember, but it's there all right. After all, it is Within you. It was All Along. Just waiting for you. To Tune In. To Come Back. To Let It Out. To say, "Hello, it's me. I'm here and I'm ready. I am a Jedi".
And you know why? It's so interesting, really. The more we let out, the more returns to us. The more we share, the more we see our vision, our thoughts, our beliefs, our power reinforced and strengthened. Of course, it's always up to us to Tune In and practice. To come back to ourselves and focus. To see what is it really that is going on here? Why am I not practicing my Jedi skills? Why am I not believing I am a Jedi? Is it because I'm not a Jedi? ...
No, it is not. You are a Jedi. You did not choose it, it was given to you. That is your gift. Even though you may try to run from it, it will always find you because you are Always called to it and it called to you. You are needed. It is needed from you.
Okay, so if I am a Jedi, why don't I feel like one?
Well, let's see, are you practicing? Are you tuning into The Force?
Mmmmm, not really. Like, once a week. Maybe. Sometimes it's more often.
Okay then, so does a once-a-week Jedi role suit you? Do you think that's even worth it? What about all the other days, what are you doing? You think you're just going to be a Jedi by sitting around? You think a Jedi is just going to be able to combat the dark side of The Force like that? I mean, you are right, it is within you, BUT it does not mean that you don't have to do the work. It does not mean that you do not have to practice. Practice is what makes the Jedi. The Jedi is his practice. Through practice you become, through practice you believe, through practice you embody that which is beginning to take form within you. BUT only if you choose to strengthen it. There is always a choice.
So what happens when you don't practice? What happens when you don't write? You don't write. Then you don't write. Then you don't write. Until you're not. And then you're not and then you just don't even remember what you're doing here in the first place. What was that thing that was so exciting? What was that thing that felt so good? What was that thing that kept me up late, ideas flowing, making connections, leading me somewhere? Oh Yea! That's what it was. What happened to that? Where did that go? I wonder if it will still feel the same... Is it even worth it?
Yes, it must be, if I keep on thinking about it. If it can't leave me alone then it is worth listening to.
Then you begin. You open that post. You type those words. You play that chord, you sing that note, you move those feet. And poof! You're in it. The Force. There it is. Not in the way you remember, but it's there all right. After all, it is Within you. It was All Along. Just waiting for you. To Tune In. To Come Back. To Let It Out. To say, "Hello, it's me. I'm here and I'm ready. I am a Jedi".
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
Hey Jude, You'll Do
It's a new year! Wow, so that happened. And here we are. I am excited and find myself hopeful, encouraged, and courageous. It seems I know what the possibilities and opportunities might be that lie ahead, though not clear and not having presented themselves, I can feel it, I sense it, it seems big things are happening, and I don't mean just for me. A collective movement towards change, towards awareness, towards a consciousness that is kinder and more strategic and sustainable (I love that word ❤ and the concept. Why did we ever Stop thinking about the long term sustainability of our planet, our bodies, our collective here in this place? Well I guess we just had to learn it for ourselves, just like Dorothy leaving Kansas, see, I told you everything goes back to the wizard of Oz hehe... anywho) .
Even though I feel these things happening and I know that it is all happening just as it should and in its correct time, there is definitely an uncertainty, a worry, a limiting belief, a sort of sabotage that goes on in the shedding of old ways. When we are faced with the possibilities of a future brighter than we could have ever imagined, or an opportunity beyond our wildest dreams, we always have a choice. Will we step back, sink in and play it safe, just as we've always done, or will we step forward, lean in, and trust with open arms and hearts that what has arrived is serving our best interests no matter the outcome?
Lean in. Embrace it. Enjoy it. Love with your heart open, trusting that all of it, everything is for you. You don't need anything more, nothing or no one else is the solution to any of your "problems" or your being "stuck". Get out of your own way. Make space for you, for all of it. For all of your uniqueness to shine. That's what you are here to do. That's what we are meant to do. Each and every one of us. When we recognize the excuses we're making, the ways we are holding ourselves back, we can stop the patterns, we can hack our mindsets and therefore our lives, and make way for our limitless potential to unfold. And it will unfold whether we like it or not. We either fight it or we let it flow. As one of my oldest and dearest friends, Leanne, would say, "Go wth the flow, like a river". And that's that. Let what comes come, let what is, be. Be thankful for it. Pour your love on it. Open your heart. That's what we're here to do.
Leaving you with some of the lyrics of one of my favorite songs, "Hey Jude" by The Beatles, because, if you haven't found out already, the Beatles said it first:
"Hey Jude,
Don't make it bad
Take a sad song
And make it better
Remember
To let her into your heart
Then you can start
To make it better
Hey Jude
Don't be afraid
You were made to
Go out and get her
The minute
You let her under your skin
Then you begin
To make it better
So let it out
And let it in
Hey Jude
Begin
You're waiting for
Someone to
Perform with
Well don't you know
That IT'S JUST YOU
Hey Jude
YOU'LL DO
The movement you need
IS ON YOUR SHOULDER..."
Hey Jude, that's you. You've got it. Right here. Right now. This. Is. It..
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